Somebody pick me up off this floor.....
The last few days have honestly been the hardest few days of my life so far. Anxiety doesn't even come into the picture here. In essence, I think entering the Great British Bake Off would have been an easier option this year. Miss Delia has gone wholly cold turkey on us. From offering to come round after work one night with a DVD and an update on LBM, to nothing. Simply nothing. Not a peep. I email her looking for some sort of re-assurance and get nothing. LRUN emails her too asking some questions about dates and she finally replies with a cryptic, panic inducing email saying she can''t say too much until after our meeting and we are all 'sure.' She tells him she is bringing the medical adviser with her and LBM's social worker tomorrow. I immediately go into defence mode....she is hiding something from us. Why is she being so secretive? So aloof. So cold. I don't like this. Triple AAA once again is my saviour. She steps in like a little angel from another world and assures me everything will be ok. I try and stay calm and somehow manage an amazing nights sleep. I think sheer emotional exhaustion may play a part here. But I have to endure a whole days work first before our meeting at 4pm. My tummy is flipping and turning so much all day and I try and stay calm, placid and focused on my work. Oh please please please don't let this be bad news. I am so stressed but I feel I have to make cake. There is no love in this cake. This cake is filled with worry, panic and distress. But it turns out beautiful and I take some into work for the girls who are so excited that by 9.30am, they are all licking the sweet buttery frosting off their lips.
By 4pm, my house is filled with LBM appreciation folk. LBM's social worker is just lovely. I instantly click with her (well she says yes to tea and a slice of cake so we're half way there really) She is young and vibrant and when she talks about him, her face lights up. The medical adviser tells us everything that we know already and suddenly it dawns on me this is really happening. There is no bad news. This is really happening. They stay late, we watch a DVD of him and my heart literally melts. Ok, so he's very chunky and looks more like the Michelin Man than anything (or the Oros man for my South African readers) but oh my hat, he is just perfect. The diaries come out..this is getting serious...and dates are scheduled. They hope to have him home with us by the 21st November. I look over at LRUN and the look of sheer panic on his face is hilarious. We finally wave goodbye to Miss Delia and resisting the urge to scream, we both stand there hugging with the dogs looking up at us, somewhat puzzled. Somebody...please pick me up off this floor!
- mummy in the baking
- This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..